Monday, May 14, 2012

Smash Report: Let (Blank) Be Our Star!

It’s here. The season finale of our favorite show, SMASH! Are you ready?!

We begin with Julia and Tom finishing their big finale as the audience is arriving for the show. Fifteen minutes until showtime and they have new material for Marilyn? Then all of a sudden Marilyn walks onto the stage as everyone wishes her to “break a leg.” But who is Marilyn you ask? Well that’s twelve hours from now. Thanks…Back to the past. The team is arguing in a circle on stage, a la “That 70’s Show.” Everyone is freaking about the ending and who’s going to play Marilyn. Eileen walks out as Michael Reidel calls her to get the dirt on Rebecca Duvall. On the spy steps, the company tries to figure out who’s going to be Marilyn. Two phones rings…is it the moment we find out? No. It’s Dev and Mamma Ivy. McSleazy goes to look at Marilyn’s costumes and has fantasies about both Ivy and Karen in the costumes they’ve worn as Marilyn all season long. Linda calls the troops to the stage. Is it time of the big reveal? McSleazy calls Karen onto the stage to announce she’s going on as Marilyn…tonight! Karen is our Marilyn…for now. And then we get a NEW opening to the show! The “Smash” logo is in full glow with a triumphant orchestra playing “Let Me Be Your Star.” It’s the day of the show y’all!
Linda freaks out that Karen is not going to fit in the costumes. The writing duo tries to boost Karen, encouraging her to ask for help if she needs them. Julia steps up for Karen and lets her call Dev. Ivy and Ellis are bummed their dastardly deed didn’t work. Tom and Julia work hard on the new song. It’s good to Julia, bad to Tom. Ellis stands up to Eileen claiming it’s Ivy’s part. Eileen puts Ellis in his place when he admits to poisoning Rebecca. Well I saw that one coming. She fires him on the spot. Ellis threatens by saying “you haven’t heard the last of this.” What does that mean. In rehearsal, Karen sings “Mr. and Mrs. Smith,” a song we haven’t seen her do all season. It’s more melodic than the other two. Julia gives Karen new lyrics as the lights turn off. And of course then Michael, in the dark, stalks over to Julia in which they have some heinous dialogue. He admits that his wife dumped him and took the kid to Seattle. And of course when the lights come on Frank is standing the audience to see the display. Oh no is right Julia!
Julia rushes after Frank to explain the interaction. Frank questions himself more than Julia. Julia affirms that the good things they created (who wrote that?!) will be there. Leo arrives with fish and chips. Oh go away Leo! The Houstons…America’s least favorite family. They continue to rehearse on stage as Eileen questions what’s going on, unsure why they’re rehearsing Karen in those costumes. Julia figures out some lyrics that she thinks will work. After Karen finishes her costume change, she sings the finished U.S.O. number, now with costumes. Ivy watches from the wings, depressed. She imagines herself when she sang it way back when. Don’t turn to those crazy pills girl! I’ll admit it, Karen’s rendition is nowhere as good as Ivy’s. McSleazy seems impressed as he watches, but let’s face it, he’ll be pissed in the end. And then wait, Dev is in the audience? Closed rehearsal put in much? The song ends and Ivy pulls the “why isn’t it me?” McSleazy sees Karen in his head. Oh like that’s not creepy? She has something that Ivy doesn’t he claims. Oh snap! If that wasn’t the nail in the relationship coffin, I don’t know what is! Kill with kindness Derek, not evilness. Dev asks Ivy about having the ring but she defiantly says no. She heads off the dressing room to have an emotional breakdown as she stares at Karen’s pictures. And then, digging into her purse she pulls out…wait for it…the ring! Bitch!
Linda informs McSleazy that they need to take a break because of Equity (if that’s not a message to all directors, I don’t know what is!), but Karen needs to do her costume change. Eileen freaks out and yells that Karen cannot do it. Karen, upset after hearing it, walks into the dressing room to see her engagement ring. Uh oh…And then Ivy bursts out to drop the bomb that Dev pulled a Joe DiMaggio and slept with her. Ivy does a magnificent job at getting inside Karen’s head! She storms out to find Dev to show him the ring. Dev admits that he slept with Ivy. Dev tries to regain control but Karen says they’re done. McSleazy stands up for Karen before Eileen could replace her. And then Jerry pops in to see how it’s going. I sense a drink throw! Sam goes and checks in on Tom, whos’ having his own mental breakdown questioning why they do it. Art. It’s the truth, my friend. Jerry questions Eileen’s moves and claims he’s there to help. Eileen tells him to go away, but he already bought a ticket! Tom plays around on the keyboard trying to create a gospel piece. Julia says absolutely not. They both question whether Karen can do it. Julia thinks it’s a disaster and suddenly gets sick. Karen, ready after her quick change, pulls off the wig and runs off. She goes missing! Julia exits the bathroom to give us the answer of a potential cliffhanger, “I haven’t gotten sick since I was pregnant with Leo.” Could it be that you’re pregnant again? But who’s the baby daddy? Frank or Michael? Linda goes out to the lobby and asks the duo if they’ve seen Karen. Where ever did she go?
Lyle, you know, played by Nick Jonas, arrives to give Eileen her sketch back. Remember that? Eileen admits that Marilyn’s in trouble. He tries to encourage her that the blonde was terrific. In the dressing room, the kids know that Ivy wouldn’t run. McSleazy pops out to the alley to see Dev. He puts the smack down on him saying she’s his now. McSleazy finds a bracelet. A clue to her whereabouts? It’s now a detective show! His deduction leads him to the costume shop where a dress leads to him finding her sitting on the floor behind a rack of costumes. Karen is cracking. McSleazy finally has a moment where he is nice. This truly is his best scene of the entire season. He tries to talk her into coming back by using some Marilyn Facts of the Day. On stage, Ivy in costume, is ready to be needed, but Karen is ready again, giving Ivy the death stare. It’s her part lady! In the dressing room, Ivy is met by her mommy, who believes that her baby is going to play Marilyn. I mean, she drove to Boston all the way from Connecticut. Like that’s a far drive! Ivy begins to take off her costume as her mother watches in shock.
We’re in the final stretch. And we start from where we began. Tom and Julia rushing through the audience. They hand the lyrics to Linda. This time we see the “break a leg” as Karen gets on stage. The opening begins as Karen sings “Let Me Be Your Star.” Full disclosure: I got goosebumps and a tad teary, even if Ivy was giving evil eyes. It moves into “20th Century Fox Mambo” which she’s doing great. Then onto Michael Swift with Karen doing the iconic dress moment. We see Ivy contemplating something. We move into Karen doing the finale with the phone on the bed we saw Rebecca do. But we know this is no longer the end of the show. So what is it? The new song. A montage of sorts. Karen does her quick change with McSleazy giving her some last encouragements, BACKSTAGE. She steps into the spotlight in a shiny gold dress. It’s a song probably called “Don’t Forget Me.” A perfect duh song moment. It’s an eleven o’clock power ballad type song. Dev watches, chocking back tears. The creatives are all smiles. And then, Ivy pulls out her pill bottle of doom, dumping the entire bottle into her hands. Cut back to Karen who’s killing this song. And then back to Ivy who gives a death smirk to the mirror and back to Karen as she belts “Let me be that star.” The lights cut to black on Karen. The end.
And that friends, is the end of season 1. According to Debra Messing, they’re going to Broadway next season! It’s time to get our final questions of the season. Did the critics love Bombshell? Is Karen officially their star? Are Karen and Dev finished? Is Julia pregnant with either Michael or Frank’s baby? And the big cliffhanger of the series: Did Ivy die? Has Megan Hilty been killed off of “Smash”?
It’s been a pleasure, friends. Until January!

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