Monday, April 9, 2012

Smash Report: How to Storm Out of a Scene

We begin tonight at some sort of re-presentation of the newly titled Bombshell. The star, Ms. Rebecca Duvall, has a travel hiccup so she’s not there. Uh oh. Bombshell, the presentation’s delayed. But before we get more on what that means, we have a scene with Dev where he doesn’t get his coveted job. Wah wah. Ok, back at the presentation, Karen gets the honor to understudy Rebecca Duvall. Well, we knew she was gonna get the official offer at some point since she’s virtually been doing that all season long. Sam and Ivy hang out after day one of the re-presentation. McSleazy then drops the bombshell to Ivy that Karen is the new understudy because she practically knows all the blocking. “But I know all of it” Ivy retorts. Ivy, my dear, if we make you the understudy we wouldn’t have another heated Ivy-Karen battle royale. Duh! SMASH.
We return to Eileen’s office where she’s talking Spanish on the phone (where she offers someone, that’s not me, tickets to The Book of Mormon) to someone presumably in Cuba. Snoopy arrives and is surprised that Rebecca was stuck in Cuba. Karen tells Dev that’s she’s the new understudy Marilyn. Is Dev excited? Hard to tell with his stern face. Then we see Tom and Sam chatting about Ivy, with, who’s that lurking in the shadows? Oh right, John. Tom! Don’t do this to me! No Sam, yes John. Sam drops off the pair at a trainwreck show for their date. Why? Well, because our friends over at “Smash” want me to get mad that the best couple on the show is bound to break soon! Damn you! At the Houstons, Julia and son have a moment. Moving on. Ivy is sad, so she stalks her friends at the rehearsal and has a fantasy moment while singing Kelly Clarkson’s “Breakaway.” She’s not on drugs, but she’s totally having delusions of grandeur. Well lucky for Ivy, she’s not the understudy getting ripped to shreds by McSleazy. Karen forgets her pencil, which is grounds for berating. Tom and Julia have an interview with a kid from NYU. They reveal that they have a tradition on the anniversary of their first show that they would go find a production of the show. When the cute little interview boy asks Julia if her hubby gets jealous, she freaks out. Calm it, girl. But what really sets Julia off is when cute little interview boy asks about Rebecca Duvall. Julia freaks out and storms out. Cut to Dev and Karen. You think McSleazy did some British berating? Dev looks like he can take McSleazy on “Berate Karen Idol”! Karen accidently reveals that she was sexually harassed by McSleazy day one of their acquaintance. Dev no likey! He yells and Karen walks out on him. If we had to pick the demise of one couple, can it PLEASE be Karen and Dev and not Tom and John? PLEASE!
Eileen and her compatriots discuss the eminent arrival of Rebecca who’s still stuck in Cuba. They all get upset that Rebecca isn’t there yet because they don’t want to spoil their money. Jerry would never do that! Eileen goes to the Bushwhack where she talks to her bartender therapist, Nick. Nick drops a stack of bills because he either wants to invest in Bombshell or he wants to be prince charming. Ivy and McSleazy are back at McSleazy’s swanky place, which we haven’t seen in a bit, where Ivy tells him to get smart, which is foreplay and her way of telling him to be nice to Karen because the only successful directors of Marilyn where the one’s that babied her. Our first Marilyn Tid Bit of the Night. At rehearsal, Tom stands in for the new song that does not include Marilyn. First off, a batch of chorus boys in towels and their clothes ON? No! Bad move. Give us more! Good move is having Tom showing off his pipes! And now we’re reminded why Mr. Borle is a Tony nominee (who should be grabbing his second nod this year!) The song is a lot of fun. Not sure where the number fits into the greater picture of Bombshell, but here’s a suggestion: cast Tom IN the show? After the number is over, McSleazy coddles Karen via Ivy’s recommendation. When lunch is called, John walks in with two coffees only to see Tom and Sam chatting it up. Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom. When you have the perfect man, don’t let him go away! Run after him! Go! Run!
Nick brings Eileen to meet a rock star played by Terence Mann. Uh…Ok? At the bar, Karen and Co chat about the bets they were playing. But before Karen can get upset, Evil Ivy appears. Why? Someone has an ulterior motive! Gift in hand! Tom and Julia attend a high school production of Three on a Match. This is our first chance seeing this show. It appears to be set somewhere in France with a Les Mis inspired score. Both Tom and Julia are less than amused, but gracious Tom gives them a standing ovation. The pair gets a shout out from drama teacher where Tom gives Julia a signed apron for their ten year anniversary. Apparently aprons scare Julia who runs out of the room. What is the subtext? Eileen tries to figure out why Mr. Rock Star would want to invest, who makes a dig at jukebox musicals. So why does he want to invest? Because he can? Still not sure. Karen and Ivy walk through Times Square, because that’s the only place they hang out, where Ivy lays down yet another Marilyn Tid Bit of the Night. While Karen was out, Dev and RJ are out drinking. Tom talks to drama teacher who praises the show and then finds Julia sitting on the hood of a car. Tom wants to know why Julia’s sad and we learn it’s because Frank won’t talk to her. Well duh! Julia realizes she wrecked their anniversary and apologizes. Tom wants to know why to which Julia says “because if I told you…” Pause Pause Sniffle Pause . And in this pause, I predict what she’ll say. I predict: “maybe it wouldn’t be real.” Ding ding ding! We have a winner! I got it right! Perhaps I should write for the show next season.
At the Houstons, Leo does some bad acting in a should be good scene where Julia discovers Leo tries to tell Frank to call her. Sam tries to get Ivy to tell him what she’s up to. Well, she’s playing nice to get back in. Sneaky, sneaky! Tom is reading the Sports section, which sets up alarms for John. John tries to get Tom to admit that he lights up when Sam’s around. What? No. He’s just a friend…of Ivy’s. Tom won’t admit it so John walks out with a stern goodbye. (Cue the angry screams at the TV). Julia calls Frank via Leo’s stolen phone. She says she’ll die if she won’t talk to him. So dramatic, but I know the feeling. Snoopy tells Eileen that he’s snooped into the personal lives of her friends. When he reveals he may have some bad news about Nick, she sends him away. At rehearsal, Karen speaks out to McSleazy about the dialogue, which puts McSleazy in fantasy mode where Karen appears as Marilyn. Has someone been tapping into Ivy’s secret stash? Eileen is drinking at 3:30pm and wants Nick to admit his dirty little secrets, but gets a phone call that interrupts the moment. Karen, at home, hears a knock at the door. Presuming it’s Dev, she plays Marilyn, but tis not. It’s Mr. Director. Why is he there? To tell Karen that Rebecca will be arriving and she’s back to the chorus? No. He’s there to apologize for his sleazy, dastardly deeds. Is this growth for a vile character? Perhaps! But before we can learn if he’s changed, Dev sees McSleazy walking out of the building allowing for some British squabble, including “I’m the director so hands off” and a spot of roughhousing. It’s so proper! Karen hears, because of course her room oversees the street, and runs out to break it up. There’s no K.O. so we’ll call it a tie.
Ivy tends to McSleazy’s flesh wounds with a bag of peas. Ivy wants to know why he couldn’t just call her, but he claims he just wanted to be nice. He doesn’t shag every leading lady! Duh Ivy! You’re the special one! Dev virtually asks Karen to quit the show, which she refuses to do. Dreams, Dev! Dreams! Eileen reveals that the Cuban Assistant Crisis is averted and Randy Cobra is the new big producer of Bombshell. Of course she does it in the most theatrical way. Fire in the Bushwhack! In montage fashion, all of our friends are sad and dreary all set to Karen’s melodic song. The only happy moment occurs when Eileen and Nick share some gross smooches. In the middle of the song, Ivy snoops into rehearsal in perfect Ellis fashion. Because that’s allowed. As the song ends, the elevator opens revealing the slow walk of a Hollywood star. Ladies and gentlemen, Uma’s in the house! I’m sorry, Rebecca Duvall.
The big questions of the night: can Dev and Karen patch things up? Is John really gone for good? Do you wish Leo went with Frank? And did Uma get paid for a full guest star appearance for her ten seconds of screen time?

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