The Dreaded Q&A with...Tony Curtis

Name:  Tony Curtis

Hometown:  Saugerties, NY

Education:  B.A. in Theatre Arts at SUNY New Paltz

Who do you play in Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?:  I play the director.

Describe your character in three words:  Over-seeing collaborative comedian?

Tell us about Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails:  It’s "Miss Congeniality" meets "Best in Show". In so many words.

Describe Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails in three words:  Zany mockumentary comedy.

What beauty pageant would you win?:  Mr. Human-Cartoon

What pageant portion are you most likely to dominate?:  Talent… duh.

Which company member is most likely to lie, cheat, or steal their way to glory?:  I’m going to say Matthew solely because he and I steal references from "Family Guy" constantly.

Most likely to commit a beauty fail?:  Michael. And maybe me too.

Most likely to be involved in a scandal?:  Jay and Samantha – fitting, I know.

Most likely to win Miss Congeniality?:  Victoria. Not even cutting her own finger off would stop her from being humble and dedicated.

Most likely to be a future stage parent?:  Alexis.

Most likely to host a beauty pageant?:  Jay, in fact, I’m almost certain he has. (See his answer for further details)

Most likely to have a showmance:  Ha. I won’t rule out anyone that’s single…

Who's the most offensive?:  Me, but I try to spread it around equally.

Most ruthless?:  This is a tough question that always seems to carry a negative connotation and I want to preface this answer by saying that this is meant complimentary, that I think Kate and Ian have been ruthlessly professional since day one.

Best pageant cry?:  Julia. I asked her if she could cry in rehearsal once, and without time or effort – bam.

Sash, bouquet, or tiara?:  ….uhhh, na.

What is your favorite moment of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?:  When Brian spanks himself.

What is the most rewarding part about being a member of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?:  That’s easy. Working with a group of the most talented committed and professional actors that any director could ask for.

Why should we come see Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?:  You should see Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails because this is one of those rare groups of actors and designers that, when put together, make miracles happen.

The Dreaded Q&A with...Ian Way

Name: Ian Way

Hometown: Santa Fe, NM

Education: Webster Conservatory

Who do you play in Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: Duffy (or the Duff-man, they're interchangeable)

Describe your character in three words: Nar-Nar Waves

Tell us about Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails:  A lighted hearted romp through the misgivings and ineptitudes of a fictional beauty pageant where little goes as planned.

Describe Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails in three words: Depicted; Enormous; Vicariously

What beauty pageant would you win?:  Little Miss Star Wars

What pageant portion are you most likely to dominate?: Talents, I got lots of 'em

Which company member is most likely to lie, cheat, or steal their way to glory?: Michael

Most likely to commit a beauty fail?:  Definitely, me.

Most likely to be involved in a scandal?:  Madeline

Most likely to win Miss Congeniality?:  Victoria

Most likely to be a future stage parent?:  Alexis

Most likely to host a beauty pageant?:  Tony

Most likely to have a showmance: Heather

Who's the most offensive?: Samantha

Most ruthless?:  Kate

Best pageant cry?: Matthew

Sash, bouquet, or tiara?: Bouquet; they're fragrant and beautiful.  While the sash and tiara will only be a reminder of the beauty you once possessed.

What is your favorite moment of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: PRAISE MARONI!!

What is the most rewarding part about being a member of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?:  Working with such a wonderful company of actors.

Why should we come see Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?:  You've burned through your Netflix queue.

For more on Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails, visit facebook.com/pageanttalesandbeautyfails. For tickets, visit Smart Tix.

The Dreaded Q&A with...Julia Warner

Name: Julia Warner

Hometown: Villanova, PA

Education: Point Park University

Who do you play in Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: Rhiannon Miss Utah… a goody goody?

Describe your character in three words: good, bad, passionate.

Tell us about Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails: Its a Zany new comedy about an off the wall pageant. Where girls will be girls and boys will be boys.  You wont know what to expect!

Describe Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails in three words: Quirky, Risky, and Fabulous

What beauty pageant would you win?: The “beautifully unorganized” pageant.. ?

What pageant portion are you most likely to dominate?: One where knitting is a well respected talent.

Which company member is most likely to lie, cheat, or steal their way to glory?: Heather

Most likely to commit a beauty fail?: I think all of us could easily do something wrong..

Most likely to be involved in a scandal?: I wana say.. Samantha. But a fabulous scandal.

Most likely to win Miss Congeniality?: Sophie. She so sweet

Most likely to be a future stage parent?: I think Brian would be a funny stage dad

Most likely to host a beauty pageant?: Def Jay. He’s got it down

Most likely to have a showmance?: Well nothing has happened yet! I’d say no one!

Who's the most offensive?: No one!

Most ruthless?: Well previous surveys say me… I say Michael

Best pageant cry?: Well… I’ve been practicing.

Sash, bouquet, or tiara?: Tiara. Sash and bouquet cover up the dress..

What is your favorite moment of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: The Pageant!!

What is the most rewarding part about being a member of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: The cast and crew is amazing. And it’s hysterical so rehearsals are a blast.

Why should we come see Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: All of the above.. and why not? Also Rhiannon has some secrets she would love to share with all of you…..

For more on Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails, visit facebook.com/pageanttalesandbeautyfails. For tickets, visit Smart Tix

The Dreaded Q&A with...Kate Villanova

Name: Kate Villanova

Hometown: Montclair, NJ

Education: Skidmore College (BA) and Rutgers University (MFA)

Who do you play in Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: Colette aka Miss Louisiana aka the next America's Goddess (if all goes according to plan)

Describe your character in three words: Goal oriented, conniving, hurricane. Oops that's four.

Tell us about Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails: It's the metaphysical quest of a Danish Prince who seeks to avenge his father's (the King's) untimely murder. Wait a second....

Describe Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails in three words: Accents. Competition. Hilarity.

What beauty pageant would you win?: The one where the contestants actually believe in Evolution.

What pageant portion are you most likely to dominate?: I don't know, but I would throw a mean after party!

Which company member is most likely to lie, cheat, or steal their way to glory?: If I told you, they'd beat me up.

Most likely to commit a beauty fail?: Probably me, actually. I get so nervous and I'm a bit clumsy in heels.

Most likely to be involved in a scandal?: Matthew. No Brian. No MATTHEW.

Most likely to win Miss Congeniality?: Sophie. Who doesn't like Sophie?!

Most likely to be a future stage parent?: Michael Bradley Block

Most likely to host a beauty pageant?: Tony (our director)

Most likely to have a showmance: Alexis and Madeline... but in character.

Who's the most offensive?: Me. I have the humor of a twelve year old boy, fart jokes and all.

Most ruthless?: Jay, I don't know why, but Jay.

Best pageant cry?: I've never seen her cry, but something tells me Heather's got some mean tears. Mean in a pageant kind of way.

Sash, bouquet, or tiara?: Bouquet for sure.

What is your favorite moment of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: Marjorie's kitties.

What is the most rewarding part about being a member of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: Spending time with this beautiful, kind, hilarious cast (and crew)

Why should we come see Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: Why the heck not?

For more on Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails, visit facebook.com/pageanttalesandbeautyfails. For tickets, visit Smart Tix.

The Dreaded Q&A with...Brian Collins

Name: Brian Patrick Collins

Hometown: Maynard, MA

Education: B.A. in Acting from Emerson College

Who do you play in Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: Joey, Nicole's right-hand gay.

Describe your character in three words: Jersey. Flamboyant. Dazed.

Tell us about Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails: PTABF is an over-the-top parody of the "drama" behind the pretty faces we see as beauty pageant perfection.

Describe Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails in three words: Shameless. Chaotic. Ridiculous.

What beauty pageant would you win?: America's Drama Queen.

What pageant portion are you most likely to dominate?: Judging.

Which company member is most likely to lie, cheat, or steal their way to glory?: Kate because of the funny stories I've heard from her.

Most likely to commit a beauty fail?: Matthew because his shorts are shorter than his apron.

Most likely to be involved in a scandal?: Ian because you would never expect it.

Most likely to win Miss Congeniality?: Madeline because I like her compliments.

Most likely to be a future stage parent?: Alexis because she seems super organized.

Most likely to host a beauty pageant?: Yours truly.

Most likely to have a showmance: Sophie because she's so damn cute.

Who's the most offensive?: Samantha with her Jersey-Italian blood.

Most ruthless?: Jarrett because he is a confident fellow.

Best pageant cry?: Julia.

Sash, bouquet, or tiara?: Tiara.

What is your favorite moment of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: In the Q&A when Kayla says "my favorite actor or actress is like RuPaul because she's like an actor and actress and like wears some fierce clothes." Kills me every time. And also, all of Rhiannon's moments - I find her oblivion to be remarkable and hilarious.

What is the most rewarding part about being a member of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: In all honesty and cheesiness, working and connecting with the PTABF team. Since living in NYC, it's been a stimulating and reassuring experience. I look forward to future collaboration with this talented bunch.

Why should we come see Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: To see all the extremes we know as stereotypes from our culture of reality television and the media all in one room.

For more on Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails, visit facebook.com/pageanttalesandbeautyfails. For tickets, vist Smart Tix

The Dreaded Q&A with...Victoria Anne Miller

Name: Victoria Anne Miller

Hometown: East Meadow, Long Island

Education: BA in Psychology/Acting (Theater Arts), Holistic Health Coach Certification (towards Masters degree)

Who do you play in Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: Loretta, The Pageant Mom

Describe your character in three words: Overbearing. Loud. Hair.

Tell us about Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails: This is a gem of a show that will steal your heart as you follow it's young, ambitious contestants to win a Beauty Pageant and the people who run it - you'll be hit over the head with outlandish characters and their endearing quirks. Who will win? What's that Voodoo Potion? and did that interpretive dance really just involve FEMA?!

Describe Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails in three words: Quirky. Competitive. Beautiful.

What beauty pageant would you win?: Weirdest facial expressions.

What pageant portion are you most likely to dominate?: Who can eat a whole jar of peanut butter the fastest. That's not a category is it?

Which company member is most likely to lie, cheat, or steal their way to glory?: I'm thinking that after we're done with this show Heather will know a thing or two about all three of these things. :-)

Most likely to commit a beauty fail?:  Me. Ev'eryday.

Most likely to be involved in a scandal? :o0o0o I can see Sophie being involved in one, she's so sweet no one would ever suspect it.

Most likely to win Miss Congeniality?: I don't know one person in this cast, including the guys who wouldn't steal that title.

Most likely to be a future stage parent?: Can I say Tony? ;-)

Most likely to host a beauty pageant?: Jay. DONE. he would own that sucka.

Most likely to have a showmance: Jay and Matthew .... I mean, they are totally cute in this.

Who's the most offensive?: Who wrote this .......

Most ruthless?: My baby gurl.

Best pageant cry?: Julia. Nails. It.

Sash, bouquet, or tiara?: I'm a nature girl, give me those flowers!

What is your favorite moment of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: Without a doubt the interpretative dance that Kate does. KILLS IT. I could watch that over and over.

What is the most rewarding part about being a member of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: I have new friends who are totally hott. But seriously, working with this cast and crew has been a wonderful professional experience, and each person involved has a heart of gold ..... and a nice ass. ;-)

Why should we come see Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: Because you know what's good for you, and if not Mama's gonna get angry - and TA-RUST me you don't want Mama angry.

For more on Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails, visit facebook.com/pageanttalesandbeautyfails. For tickets, visit Smart Tix.

The Dreaded Q&A with...Heather Cadarette

Name: Heather Cadarette

Hometown: Hemet, CA

Education: BA, UCSD

Who do you play in Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: Bonnie Rae

Describe your character in three words: Evil, young, competitive

Tell us about Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails: Reality show on stage

Describe Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails in three words: Staged reality show

What beauty pageant would you win?: This one

What pageant portion are you most likely to dominate?: Talent

Which company member is most likely to lie, cheat, or steal their way to glory?: Matt

Most likely to commit a beauty fail?: Tony obviously

Most likely to be involved in a scandal?: Michael

Most likely to win Miss Congeniality?: Sophie

Most likely to be a future stage parent?: My mamma, Victoria

Most likely to host a beauty pageant?: Jay

Most likely to have a showmance: Ian. Jk he's married.

Who's the most offensive?: Alexis. Not.

Most ruthless?: Julia

Best pageant cry?: Kate

Sash, bouquet, or tiara?: Tiara

What is your favorite moment of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: The talent portion. Let it go.

What is the most rewarding part about being a member of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: getting to sing my favorite song.

Why should we come see Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: to see me sing my favorite song.

For more on Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails, visit facebook.com/pageanttalesandbeautyfails. For tickets, visit Smart Tix.

The Dreaded Q&A with...Sophie Moshofsky

Name: Sophie Moshofsky

Hometown: Portland, Oregon.

Education: Well, I learned to read with my Mom and Dad. I graduated from Oklahoma City University with a BFA in acting.

Who do you play in Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: Like… Kayla. Miss California.

Describe your character in three words: Like like like

Tell us about Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails: It’s freakin hilarious! It highlights so many stereotypes of different kinds of American gals and brings them all together in the most estrogen filled situation to fight to the death: a beauty pageant.

Describe Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails in three words: Like so funny.

What beauty pageant would you win?: Well, I just heard there’s a Miss Beautiful Bottom… maybe I could win that. Or like… Miss Weirdo.

What pageant portion are you most likely to dominate?: Talent or Interview

Which company member is most likely to lie, cheat, or steal their way to glory?: Hahaha. Ummm… I can’t say.

Most likely to commit a beauty fail?: I feel like it’s me… it has to be me… Yep, it’s definitely me.

Most likely to be involved in a scandal?: Oooh! Michael and Tony. HAHA.

Most likely to win Miss Congeniality?: Alexis. She’s a doll.

Most likely to be a future stage parent?: Oh my gosh, Victoria. She’s already so good at it.

Most likely to host a beauty pageant?: Jay. He really has the voice down.

Most likely to have a showmance: Jay and Matt- I kind of want it to happen.

Who's the most offensive?: I guess Samantha, but it’s really more her character. She’s a natural though :0)

Most ruthless?: No one. They’re all perfect.

Best pageant cry?: Julia. By far.

Sash, bouquet, or tiara?: OOH! Um… all of them. I like bouquets though. They smell good.

What is your favorite moment of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: I love when Kate does her poem about Louisiana. Like… dribble dribble drip drop? That shitake is hilarious. I like doing my scenes with Ian too.

What is the most rewarding part about being a member of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: This is my first full production in New York. It feels so good to be a part of something- and something GOOD at that! I love the people, the script, the work… it feels good to work.

Why should we come see Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: You’ll laugh, you may cry, and you’ll have a great time! The theatre isn’t just for us, man. We’re doing this for you!

For more on Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails, visit facebook.com/pageanttalesandbeautyfails. For tickets, visit Smart Tix.

The Dreaded Q&A with...Jarrett Jay Yoder

Name: Jarrett Jay Yoder

Hometown: Archbold, Ohio

Education: The American Music and Dramatic Academy

Who do you play in Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: The one and only Alan Price

Describe your character in three words: I love myself.

Tell us about Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails: Brilliant, zany characters running around in the most hysterical way possible.

Describe Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails in three words: Devilishly beautiful chaos.

What beauty pageant would you win?: Sushi Eating Contest….Pageant

What pageant portion are you most likely to dominate?: Question and Answer

Which company member is most likely to lie, cheat, or steal their way to glory?: Victoria ;)

Most likely to commit a beauty fail?: Myself

Most likely to be involved in a scandal?: Matthew

Most likely to win Miss Congeniality?: Alexis

Most likely to be a future stage parent?: Victoria

Most likely to host a beauty pageant?: Alexis

Most likely to have a showmance: Sam and Brian

Most ruthless?: Madeline

Best pageant cry?: Julia

Sash, bouquet, or tiara?: TIARA

What is your favorite moment of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: Miss Louisana’s answer to the Question and Answer

What is the most rewarding part about being a member of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: Working with such and incredible cast, director, and writer.

Why should we come see Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: If you don’t see this show, your life will be chaos.

For more on Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails, visit facebook.com/pageanttalesandbeautyfails. For tickets, visit Smart Tix.

The Dreaded Q&A with...Samantha Algieri

Name: Samantha Joanna Algieri

Hometown: Lyndhurst, NJ

Education: BA in Psychology

Who do you play in Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: Nicole, Miss Jerzy

Describe your character in three words: Blunt, Ballsy, Bitchy

Tell us about Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails:  A comedy about a bunch of dames who have no clue what the hell they’re doing at this pageant but they all feel they are the winners.

Describe Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails in three words: Fun, Witty, Eccentric

What beauty pageant would you win?: The ‘I would rather be in yoga pants eating Ben&Jerry’s” pageant #CherryGarciaIsMyJam

What pageant portion are you most likely to dominate?: The part where I walk from the line of girls to the microphone and back.  Oh!  And the fake smiling portion is ALL ME.

Which company member is most likely to lie, cheat, or steal their way to glory?: Ian, it’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for.  

Most likely to commit a beauty fail?: All of the above because we are all Gods creations and nobody is perfect

Most likely to be involved in a scandal?: Sophie.  Always have to be careful with those Aryans, know what I’m saying?

Most likely to win Miss Congeniality?:  Um, Julia, have you SEEN THAT HAIR.

Most likely to be a future stage parent?: Madeline.  She’s the tallest so she’s already on top of the future stage parent world.

Most likely to host a beauty pageant?: Alexis really nails it.  I think her alter ego is Marjorie and just doesn’t tell anyone.

Most likely to have a showmance: Jay and Matthew

Who's the most offensive?: Brian the Bostonian because he’s from, well,  Boston in which they tend to like New England sports team and that’s really offensive, so Y-E-A-H!

Most ruthless?: I’m going to say me because I really think it’s true

Best pageant cry?: Kate

Sash, bouquet, or tiara?: Divas want it ALL.

What is your favorite moment of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?:  The part where I just drop the “f bomb” and walk away with complete sass.

What is the most rewarding part about being a member of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?:  Working with a great group of talented actors.

Why should we come see Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?:  Because I’m in it, DUH.

For more on Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails, visit facebook.com/pageanttalesandbeautyfails.com. For tickets, visit Smart Tix. 

The Dreaded Q&A with...Matthew Menendez

Name: Matthew Menendez

Hometown: St. Louis, Missouri

Education: Associates in Dramatic Arts / Film and Television

Who do you play in Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: Terence

Describe your character in three words: Sassy, Classy, and Bold

Tell us about Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails: Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails is the stereotypical comedy you have always wanted to see. You take the best regions of the USA to poke fun at and a few gay jokes and you have a good time and a lot of laughs. On top of that you have it all taking place in a beauty pageant. That’s the cherry on top of “the very moist cake”.

Describe Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails in three words: Bawdy, Hilarious, and Ridiculous

What beauty pageant would you win?: Seeing as how I don’t have the face or genitalia for Miss America, I would say, is there a pageant for Miss Skinny ass?

What pageant portion are you most likely to dominate?: The Pageant portion I would dominate would have to be evening gown wear.  I look great in a dress. It would be fitting up top with shimmer all over, and a slit up to my thigh.

Which company member is most likely to lie, cheat, or steal their way to glory?: I’m going to say Brian Collins, Joey from Jersey Shore. Maybe not so much Brain himself he’s a sweetheart but his other half Joey… not so much.

Most likely to commit a beauty fail?: Beauty fail goes to … damn… me. Not my other half, Terence he’s flawless but me… oy.

Most likely to be involved in a scandal?: I feel like Jay Yoder would be the one to be in a scandal. Just does.

Most likely to win Miss Congeniality?: Miss Congeniality has to go to the hilarious Alexis. In and out of character she’s just the most original, funny, sweet heart around.

Most likely to be a future stage parent?: This maybe Terence talking but I don’t see anyone being a bat shit crazy pageant mom. No, nada, no way.

Most likely to have a showmance: Oy vey… I guess I got to say me and Yoder, I mean we do hard core make out. Also given the fact more than half our cast are girls and the few boys we have are well... not interested in those parts, makes things a little difficult.

Who’s the most offensive?: Most offensive…. I guess character wise Miss New Jersey, but Samantha is a sweetie. Represent!

Most ruthless?: No doubt most ruthless would be Heather Cadarette. She will stop at nothing to get her way. Nah, she’s a angel. Now her other half Bonnie Rae, she’s a different story.

Best pageant cry?: This hands down goes to Miss Utah, Julia. You will just have to see why when you see the show.

Sash, bouquet or tiara?: Tiara all the way, what little gay boy doesn’t dream of owning a tiara.

What is your favorite moment of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: Oh geesh, my favorite moment would have to be… the cat fight. Best!! Makes me laugh every time I see it.

What is the most rewarding part about being a member of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: The most rewarding part Is working with such a beautiful and talented cast. It’s not every day you get to work with such a great cast and I’m loving every moment.

Why should we come see Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: You should come see it because you will regret it if you don’t. This is going to make waves in the theatre and you are not going to want to miss this piece of theatre history. Trust me.

For more on Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails, visit facebook.com/pageanttalesandbeautyfails. For tickets, visit Smart Tix.

The Dreaded Q&A with...Alexis Robbins

Name: Alexis Robbins

Hometown: Jacksonville, FL

Education: BFA Boston University, The Barrow School

Who do you play in Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: Marjorie Davis, Pageant Coordinator

Describe your character in three words: Cheerful, idealistic, nuts

Tell us about Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails: A delightful collections of characters attack an innocent FL pageant. Chaos ensues.

Describe Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails in three words: Hilarious, female-centric, fearless

What beauty pageant would you win?: Miss Cartoon and/or Dr. Seuss Character Lookalike

What pageant portion are you most likely to dominate?: Q&A! Maybe... sorta... I mean, I guess. I don't know. These questions are hard.

Which company member is most likely to lie, cheat, or steal their way to glory?: Madeline... because she handed in her bio first

Most likely to commit a beauty fail?: Me

Most likely to be involved in a scandal?: Matthew

Most likely to win Miss Congeniality?: Sophie

Most likely to be a future stage parent?: Sarah

Most likely to host a beauty pageant?: Jay... seriously, he'd be really good at it

Most likely to have a showmance: Matthew?

Who's the most offensive?: Character? Probably me. Cast member? Maybe me.

Most ruthless?: Kate... because she's the most off book

Best pageant cry?: Julia

Sash, bouquet, or tiara?: Tiara, bitch! Bling!

What is your favorite moment of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: "Oh shit, I killed her." Beautifully executed by Matthew, complete with gazelle leaps.

What is the most rewarding part about being a member of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: Working with incredibly talented, funny, hardworking people in a professional environment... The script is great and the characters are very very well cast.

Why should we come see Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: Because if you don't I know I few beauty queens who will cut a bitch.

For more on Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails, visit facebook.com/pageanttalesandbeautyfails. For tickets, visit Smart Tix.

The Dreaded Q&A with...Madeline Hickman

Name: Madeline Hickman

Hometown: Melbourne, FL

Education: BA in Theatre and BA in Mass Communication Studies from FLORIDA STATE (Go Noles!)

Who do you play in Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: Melanie, Miss Texas

Describe your character in three words: Confident, Loud, Texan

Tell us about Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails: Hilarious show about The America's Goddess Pageant, with every American stereotype represented and hopefully offended

Describe Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails in three words: Funny, Glamorous, Big

What beauty pageant would you win?: Queen of Hiding from my Roommates then Jumping Out and Scaring Them.

What pageant portion are you most likely to dominate?: The part where you stay in a hotel with continental breakfast

Which company member is most likely to lie, cheat, or steal their way to glory?: No one! We're a bunch of sweethearts

Most likely to commit a beauty fail?: Probably me

Most likely to be involved in a scandal?: Jay

Most likely to win Miss Congeniality?: Sophie

Most likely to be a future stage parent?: Victoria

Most likely to host a beauty pageant?: Matthew

Most likely to have a showmance: Sam and Brian, they're way too good together

Who's the most offensive?: Michael, look at this play he wrote!

Most ruthless?: No one!

Best pageant cry?: Brian, I honestly can't look at him pageant cry because it makes me crack up

Sash, bouquet, or tiara?: Melanie says Tiara, Madeline says Bouquet

What is your favorite moment of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: I change my mind at every rehearsal about this, because everyone is constantly coming up with new ways to make us all laugh

What is the most rewarding part about being a member of Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: The team! I have nothing but lovely things to say about this group of people and their talents.

Why should we come see Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails?: Because Melanie will shoot you if you don't.

For more on Pageant Tales and Beauty Fails visit us on Facebook at facebook.com/pageanttalesandbeautyfails. For tickets, visit Smart Tix.